Being a Detail-Oriented (Cough, Uptight) Bride
It’s crazy to say, but we’re more than halfway through our engagement. (The obsessive side of me decided to figure out what day was exactly the halfway point… I even used a date duration calculator and discovered that January 27th was legit day 257 of our 514-day engagement.) Now that we’re well over the halfway mark, it’s a good time to do a “State of the Union” kind of check up and figure out: What kind of bride am I?
I mean, I know what kind of bride I thought I was going to be before we were engaged. I play with tradition. I don’t get too caught up on the way we’re “supposed” to do things, so I thought I’d be immune to a lot of the pressures that other brides have regarding their wedding day. I was going to be calm and aloof. Never get hung up on flowers or what color the napkins were gonna be. I like simple things anyway. Neutrals. I would never stress about whether this green dress is more “kelly” or “emerald.” As long as it’s green, right? Or even if it’s not green. It’s just a dress, and this is just a party. At the end of the day, as long as we’re married, that’s all that matters.
Super zen yogi bride. Yep! That’s me… not.
Now that I’m here halfway in, I realize that I care more about the day and the details than I ever thought I would. It’s just one single day, yes, but it’s an important day. And an expensive day that we’ve set aside to host all of our our closest friends and family. It’s a day that symbolizes us and everything we have been and will continue to work towards in our relationship. So yes, I care about it. A lot. And when you’ve invested lots of time and money on this one important and symbolic day, you start to care about making sure the details are just right—and, yes, that the damn dresses are emerald. Not “kelly.” Emerald. I’ve spent too much time and money on this shindig to start getting sloppy on the dress color, you know?
If I’m being totally honest, I’m also plagued by thoughts about how other people are going to judge my wedding. I want them to think it’s cool. That it’s different from other weddings. That it’s “us,” whatever that means. So I’m holding an even tighter microscope on all our choices for the day. I spend time thinking about the right font or the right earrings. And what they don’t tell you about wedding planning is that suddenly every thing has a voice. “What does this wine say about us?” You start to think about things you never would have imagined you’d be worrying about before you were engaged.
It’s all really stressful, being a detail-oriented bride. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I find that when I work really hard at something and mull it over and really throw myself into it, I’m so proud of the end result. So no, I’m not going to win any awards for the world’s most laid back bride. And yes, it’s been difficult at times and I may or may not have cried at a few points when it all seemed too hard to handle. But you know what? I already love our wedding. And I’m here more than halfway through our engagement feeling so proud of all that I’ve done to really make this day ours. I hope when day 515 rolls around after our wedding, I’m still feeling like all of the hard work and thoughtful planning paid off with gorgeous photos, good fun and great memories.