May 16

One Year of Being Engaged and We’re Finally Speaking the Same Language

Yesterday marked one year since the day that Rooster got down on one knee at Disney World. It was our fourth dating anniversary then, which makes this one our fifth. Dating anniversaries seem to lose their spark, though, once you have a wedding anniversary on the horizon. We didn’t do much last night to mark our fifth year of loving each other. I don’t know if it was the hustle of planning a wedding or the strain the bash is putting on our wallets lately or just that we have bigger and better things coming up soon, but neither of us felt like making a big deal of our fifth dating anniversary or our first engagement anniversary. We just had a quiet night at home, exchanging I Love Yous in our own languages.

engagementcooking
Engagement Session by Matt Andrews Photography

There’s a relationship book by Dr. Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages. I’ve never read the book, but a friend turned me on to the concept: We all have different ways we like to express and receive love from our partners. Chapman boiled it down to five languages of love:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

You can take a quiz or have your partner take a quiz to discover your love language, although you might already have an idea at what love language you understand best. Mostly because it’s the language you’re most likely to speak in yourself. Someone who loves to hear verbal I Love You‘s is likely to dish them out all day. The thing is, that might not be the best way to actually show love to your partner. You have to learn what their love language is, and learn how to speak it. If you’re compatible, great! Go on getting each other gifts and making each other happy! Rooster and me? We couldn’t be more incompatible.

I’m a words of affirmation and physical touch girl. He’s an acts of service and receiving gifts guy. Each of us ranks the other one’s love languages among our lowest importance. I don’t feel loved when Roo does the laundry. I feel loved when he hugs me and says “I Love You.” He, on the other hand, is deeply touched when I go out of my way to do something around the apartment or bring him a little treat or trinket that lets him know I was thinking of him. It’s been a struggle to learn to speak each other’s languages. But over the years, we’ve worked together to communicate our affection better. It’s even become a joke as we re-visited our love languages recently.

“I love you so much, Hen.”

“Me too. I’m going to go vaccum.”

So tonight, on our last dating anniversary, I tidied up the apartment and made Roo’s favorite meal, while he showered me with sweet words and affection. And it was perfect.

What’s your love language?

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